I realized I did not want to take antidepressants anymore

I was at a loss. For years I was depressed and I realized I did not want to take antidepressant pills anymore. Every time again I was send to yet another psychiatric institution where they treated me like just another number on the waiting list, so that I had to take those pills for even a longer time. The treatment was mostly about thinking mistakes that I had to learn to live with.

I decided to stop the therapies and
started reducing the pills. Then I had to face myself, but lucky enough I ended up well. I finally found a therapist where I am not constantly looking at the clock to see if it is almost over yet.

I feel treated as a human being and I feel understood. Also that I really can change my depression and that my feelings are not strange and do not have to be repressed.

I can stay close to myself now. I didn't know that I had the power to stay with my feelings and go through the pain in stead of avoiding them. Very happy with that after all those years.