Therapycounselling.org
Network of therapists
and counsellors in the UK
Therapycounselling

Anxiety and fear - Tips


Tips for coping with anxiety and fear

Would you like some tips and advice how to deal with anxiety and fear?

This forum is a great place to:

 

  • explore several tips.
  • share the tips that work for you.

 

What's your tip how to deal with anxiety and fear?

Overview of tips




+ add tip





All tips


Tip 1 - Take one step at a time

Look for situations that make you (a little bit) anxious. In these situations take one step at a time. You'll notice that it will make you more comfortable to move within those situations.

Don't always avoid situations that make you anxious. Your fears and anxious feelings may grow then.


Therapycounselling

3

share this tip

Tip 2 - Get moving and take action

If you want to change, you will have to take some action. If you keep doing what you always did, you will keep getting the same results. So you will have to do something else.

Fear can make you freeze, which makes it hard to take steps in another direction. But if you don't take steps, you will maintain your undesirable situation.

So get moving and take action!


Therapycounselling

3

share this tip

Tip 3 - Investigate the secondary gain of being anxious

Investigate the secondary gain of being anxious. Even when you want to let go of your fears, it can be that you do not succeed, because (unconsciously) you benefit from having the fear.

- It can be, for example, that because of your fear, you do not have to do certain things that you actually do not want to do.
- Or because of your fear you receive extra attention from your parents, lovers or therapists. And that you actually like that.

As soon as you know what the positive effects of your fears are (the secondary gain), you can start to look for an alternative way to get the same advantage, without having to hold on to your fears.

The next questions can help you discover the advantage of your fear:

- What (nice things) can I do because of the fear, what I otherwise could not do?
- What (nice things) do I receive because of the fear, that I would otherwise not receive?
- What could go wrong when I do not have the fear anymore?


Therapycounselling

2

share this tip

Tip 4 - Make sure you sleep well

Make sure you sleep well and sufficiently. Sleep is very important for your body and your spirit to rest and recover. When you sleep well and you sleep enough, it will contribute to feeling well rested and capable during the day.

If it is hard for you to fall asleep, then you can do relaxation exercises.


Therapycounselling

2

share this tip

Tip 5 - Practice mindfulness

Practice mindfulness.
Look with a mild, gentle and friendly attention to your fears.

Accept that fear is there, without identifying with it. You are not the fear, you have the fear.

By approaching yourself and your fears in a gentle manner, you can relax deeper and then your fear can become soft too.


Therapycounselling

2

share this tip

Do you want to share your tip?

+ add tip



Tip 6 - That anxious feeling can protect you from harm

View that anxious feeling as your friend – it can protect you from harm when you have control of it.



2

share this tip

Tip 7 - It takes courage to ask for help

Each of us knows when we feel a bit down, or anxious about something coming up and what is normal for us. We also know when something is clearly wrong.

If how you feel is making you miserable, stopping you from doing the things you want and need to do, then getting help is not a sign of weakness. It takes courage to ask for help when we feel vulnerable, so don't suffer in silence, take action to help you feel better.

I am a counsellor, so I would recommend that you seek therapy, but there are other things you can do to help yourself. Talk to family or friend. Go and see your GP. Whatever you do, please do something to take care of yourself.



2

share this tip

Tip 8 - Find a counsellor

Are your experiencing anxiety and/or fear and could you use some support?
therapist or counsellor can help you.


Therapycounselling

1

share this tip

Tip 9 - Listen to your underlying needs

Fear can also be a symptom of an underlying problem. Maybe you do not have enough time for yourself, to rest, to give space to your emotions. Then try and find some time everyday to feel what is inside. That is not always easy. There can be a lot of restlessness, sadness, anger or fear.

Allowing these emotions, or for example write them down or talk to somebody about it, can eventually lead to feeling lighter and less fearfull.

It can also be, that when you take time to feel what is underneath, you feel the need for rest. Try to look for how you can take care of yourself, because also taking care of your needs, will decrease the feelings of fear.


Therapycounselling

1

share this tip

Tip 10 - Feel with curiousity, friendliness and without judgement

Functional fear will bring you to action. It makes you for example jump away when a car with wailing sirenes is passing by.

Sometimes fear can make you 'freeze'.

Try and go with your attention to your body when you have fear. What happens there when you are scared? Which muscles are tensening up? Maybe your shoulders? Or your jaw? What do you feel in your belly, in your legs? Where in your body do you feel your breath? Your heart?

Curious, friendly and without judgement, just feel what is there, without immediately looking for a solution.....


Therapycounselling

1

share this tip

Do you want to share your tip?

+ add tip



Tip 11 - Keep a fear-diary

To get a grip on your fears, it is useful to know what causes it. It can help to keep a 'fear-diary'. You can write in it what you do, which situations trigger you and what you feel when fear comes up.

By keeping a fear-diary you can get an overview and it will be easier to find out what it actually is that creates fear. This can help to deal with it in a different way.


Therapycounselling

1

share this tip

Tip 12 - Talk about it with others

Talk about your feelings of fear and try not to judge yourself. Talking about it with friends and family often gives space and helps to decrease stress. Conversations with others can also help you get a better understanding and insights about your personal situation.


Therapycounselling

1

share this tip

Tip 13 - Make a list with positive experiences

Make a list of the positive experiences of your fear. Think about situations where there was fear, but you did not avoid the situation.

Describe how the fear decreased. What helped you then?

Keep in mind that you can only grow when you examine the pain you feel.


Therapycounselling

1

share this tip

Tip 14 - Create a balance in your inner world

Fear has a function, fear is never just there. Often there is a deep-rooted cause.

Find a therapist that helps you to connect with your inner world, to listen to your fears and ask them questions. A good integrative therapist will lead you through the questions to the origin and the core of your fears. What does your fear want to protect you from?

The result is that you get to know what you want to prevent to happen with your fears. With a therapist you will look for an effective way to prevent that to happen.

Start a dialogue with the part in you that has fear. Come to a different reaction when the situation that scares you occurs. And make sure your inner world is in balance, so that also other parts, characteristics, will want to cooperate with the new solution.


Jacky

1

share this tip

Tip 15 - Sing out loud

When you are afraid, sing! The best is out loud. Your brain can only do one thing at a time!


Maureen

1

share this tip

Do you want to share your tip?

+ add tip



Tip 16 - Ask yourself ‘Do I need to be Anxious’?

We all have times in our life where we get that familiar feeling known as ‘Anxiety’ creeping in.

Job interviews, driving tests, big life changes can leave you feeling jittery and fearful.

When you get that jittery feeling – Stop, Press Pause and ask yourself ‘Do I need to be Anxious’?



1

share this tip

Tip 17 - Take control

When you feel anxious:

Take control - Stop, Press Pause and ask yourself what you can control and change in the situation to alleviate the fear.



1

share this tip

Tip 18 - Caffeine

Keep an eye on caffeine intake if experiencing anxiety and try to reduce it slowly


1

share this tip

Tip 19 - Anxiety and avoidance

Individuals who have experienced trauma may experience anxiety in a variety of forms from an increase in generalized worries to panic attacks. Individuals may also experience avoidance of social situations that may be more related to trauma symptoms than a fear of embarrassment.

Anxiety and avoidance are connected in individuals with PTSD. One of the pillars of treatment in PTSD is to break the cycle of avoidance. Avoidance is naturally reinforcing because individuals who avoid anxiety-provoking situations or thoughts experience a decrease in anxiety. This cycle of avoidance can become particularly impairing if left untreated.


1

share this tip

Tip 20 - Get the support you deserve

Emotionally, anxiety can become an obstacle to a happy, healthy life when it affects your day-to-day life. Anxiety can appear as:

•Excessive worry
•Fatigue
•Irritability
•Panic attacks
•Paranoia
•Poor concentration
•Restlessness
•Sleep disturbances

However, do connect with an experienced professional and get the support you deserve!


1

share this tip

Tip 21 - Challenge your inner talk and develop healthy thinking

Anxiety develops and is maintained by certain thinking styles. For example "worry chains" are very common in anxious inner talk. When you worry chain in your mind you are thinking that when one negative thing happens it then leads to another negative thing happening and so on. And at the end of the worry chain, there is a big catastrophe. There are many other anxiety-increasing thinking styles as well. CBT-REBT therapy helps you to identify and challenge the thinking styles increasing and maintaining anxiety.


1

share this tip

Tip 22 - Challenge your inner talk about yourself

Anxious people often have very self-critical inner talk. This keeps the brain in “alarm mode”. Self-compassion instead helps the brain to activate the soothing system which then reduces anxiety. It can be hard to change the inner talk more compassionate but it is possible and it is needed to overcome anxiety. In therapy, you learn to challenge your inner critic and you learn tools to be more compassionate towards yourself.


Anonymous

1

share this tip

Add your own tip


Do you want to share your tip?


+ add tip




Find a counsellor:


Click the name of a town to see which counsellors / therapists are available.

Is your town not in the list above? Search on town >>


© Therapycounselling.org - Counselling Directory - UK Counselling & Therapy
Disclaimer | Privacy | About us | Forum tips | Join us | Login