Trauma - Tips

Wounding happened in an unsafe relationship but healing can happen in a safe one. We may not feel a new relationship can be safe, at first. That's natural and understandable, and is a common response to not having the kind of safe relationship our nervous systems need to grow. But, usually, some part of us still hopes to find that safe relationship, still knows deep down it can be possible. Finding a counsellor who does not pressure you to go faster than you want to, who let's you slow down and experience relating together at your own pace may begin to offer a feeling of what safe relating can be like. Once you know that feeling, which does take time to grow, it may become possible to experience it with other people in the wider world. This is the process of trauma therapy. It takes time and gentleness, but our nervous systems know it is possible to heal. We just need someone to be there with us while that happens.

Trauma activates the ancient parts of the brain and these may unconsciously be triggered afterwards without you knowing why. Understanding, processing and integrating traumatic experiences in a safe environment with a counsellor can help you to deal with these triggers and the impact of trauma.

For many people it helps to write down and share their story with others. You can share your story on the trauma-peer-support-forum on this website.

Do you suffer from trauma and could you use some support?
A therapist or counsellor can help you.

You suffer from an intense experience in the past? Does it come back daily, also after 6 months (or more)?

Try EMDR-therapy. In 90% of the cases, the trauma becomes less loaded emotionally.

Connect with what supported you during or after the traumatic event.

Often we keep on confirming ourselves in thinking and talking about the trauma...

It helps a lot to connect with the experiences that were positive around the traumatic event: the nice lady that took your hand, the bird you heard whistling, or the foot you were still able to move...

In case of trauma, we often think of a one-time traumatic event. That's what we call shock trauma.

However, many of us have to deal with more complex forms of trauma that arise from our childhood. We call this developmental trauma.

Take yourself seriously if you notice that you are suffering from your father's negative behavior, your self-sacrificing mother or the boundless behaviour of your children.

There is a lot of change possible! Find a therapist that makes you feel safe. 

Would you like to take the first step?

The body has also a memory. Trauma leaves its traces there.
Body oriented therapy, like Somatic Experiencing, can be very useful.

Don't escape your trauma by using alcohol or drugs. It might seem like a way out and it seems like it makes you feel better. But it is not a solution.

On top of it, it might create an extra problem: an alcohol / drug addiction
Escaping your traumatic feelings by emotional eating is also not a solution.

Trauma experiences can affect your brain and people with trauma can be also very anxious as a result of trauma. You are constantly in “alarm mode”. Anxious people usually have very self-critical inner talk. This keeps the brain in “alarm mode”. Self-compassion instead helps the brain to activate the soothing system which then reduces anxiety and tells your brain that you are safe now. This helps your brain to rewire. It can be hard to change the inner talk more compassionate but it is possible and it is needed to overcome anxiety and trauma. In therapy, you learn to challenge your inner critic and you learn tools to be more compassionate towards yourself.