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Communication issues - Tips


Tips for coping with communication issues

Would you like some tips and advice how to deal with communication issues?

This forum is a great place to:

 

  • explore several tips.
  • share the tips that work for you.

 

What's your tip how to deal with communication issues?

Overview of tips




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All tips


Tip 1 - Practice nonviolant communication

Practice with nonviolant communication (abbreviated NVC, also called Compassionate Communication or Collaborative Communication)

These are the four components of nonviolant communication:

1) Observation
2) Feelings
3) Needs
4) Requests

1) Observation = the facts

- I see....
- I hear.... is that correct?
- You say....
- I notice.....

2) Feelings = emotions or sensations, free of thought and story

- I feel....
- This triggers...... in me
- I notice I have trouble with....
- I feel sorry about....
- I am afraid that...
- I experience ...

3) Needs = express why something is important for you

- Because ...... is important to me
- Because I long for....
- It is important to me that...

4) Request = request for a specific action, free of demand, that meets your needs.

- How would it be for you to.....?
- What is it like for you to.....?
- Are you willing to.....?
- I would like to ask you to.... is that ok?
- I would like to hear your side of the story, could you tell me?
- Would you do this for me?
- Shall we do.... together?


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Tip 2 - Do you want contact or do you want to be right?

In communication it is often about power, who is right and who is wrong?

Consider: do I want to be right or do I want to be in contact?


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Tip 3 - Advice from the Dalai Lama

"When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you might learn something new."


Quote Dalai Lama

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Tip 4 - Agree to disagree

Agree that you don't have to agree. By agreeing on this you might not feel the need to convince the other person of your opinion.

You can also get to know each other opinions in a calm way. Accept that the other persons opinion differs from yours, and that it is OK that you disagree on something.


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Tip 5 - Listen attentively to what the other is saying

Listen attentively to what the other is saying. Many people are thinking about what they are going to say while the other person is talking. They don't really listen to what the other person is saying.

Try to be really with your full attention with the listening.


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Tip 6 - Express what you want from the other

When you are you in a conflict, don't say what the other is doing wrong, rather express what you want from the other. This can prevent an escalation.


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Tip 7 - Communication

Think 'SOLAR'. What are your barriers to communication? Are you able to listen to another's point of view without talking at the same time and getting your point of view across instead?

Listening is not easy, its a hard skill to develop.

If we are not 'heard' it can cause a lot of ill feeling, frustrations and resentment affecting relationships and wider interactions with our family, friends, educators, work-life, or partner.

As a counsellor, listening is key and something requiring practice and skill.

Tip: If you want to start improving your communication think SOLAR. Firstly give all your attention 100% to the person opposite you and refrain from jumping into the conversation to have you say.. instead

'S' Sit squarely opposite the person
'O' With Open posture, no crossed legs or arms
'L' Lean towards the other as they speak to show you are interested in what they say
'E' Eye contact meet their gaze, nod, show them you are there and listening
'R' Relax this is most important as this will help them relax into the conversation too.


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Tip 8 - Find a counsellor

Are your experiencing communication issues and could you use some support?
therapist or counsellor can help you.


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Tip 9 - Be open to the opinion and arguments of the other

Be open to the opinion and arguments of the other person. And also be open to adjust your own opinion. You change, you get new information, so it is very natural to change opinion.

In politics you often see that every party has it's own opinions and arguments. Every party/politician is proclaiming his own opinion without really being open for opinions and arguments of the other parties. It looks like a kind of theater play where it is clear from the beginning what everybody is going to say and what the outcome will be.

Politicians hardly ever change their opinion and arguments. And if they do it, it is not appreciated, because he is seen as not reliable. And they refer to the past. "But ten years ago you said ...."

When you are not open to the opinions and arguments of others, then you are mainly proclaiming your own opinions. This cannot really be called 'communication'.


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