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Fear of commitment - Tips



Tips for coping with fear of commitment

Would you like some tips and advice how to deal with fear of commitment?

This forum is a great place to:

 

  • explore several tips.
  • respond to tips / share your experience.
  • share the tips that work for you.

 

What's your tip how to deal with fear of commitment?


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Tip 1 - Partner with fear of commitment? Don't claim too much

Does your partner have fear of commitment? Don't claim him too much. Don't set all kinds of requirements, but give him the feeling he is free and autonomous.


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Tip 2 - Communicate open and honest about your fear of commitment

Do you have a fear of commitment, be honest about it. Express it in words when you feel it, this will create space.

Does your partner have fear of commitment and does he express it when he feels it? Then respond by letting him know that it is all completely fine. The fear is allowed to be there.


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Tip 3 - Partner with fear of commitment? Don't talk too much about the future

Does your partner have fear of commitment? Then don't talk too much with him about a future together, about living together, getting married, have children, grow old together, stay together for the rest of your lives...

For somebody with fear of commitment this can create a lot of stress.

But also do not avoid the subject. Just moderately. You can take it step by step to slowly let the capacity of your partner grow.


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Tip 4 - You are free and autonomous

If you struggle with a fear of commitment, realize that you are free and autonomous.

Nothing last forever. You can choose for a relationship (or a date) at this moment, but that doesn't mean that you have to stay together forever.

You are always free to make another choice.


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Tip 5 - Don't always run away for your fear of commitment

Do you suffer from fear of commitment? Don't always go on the run for it.

You have several options when it occurs:


- Stay with the fearful feeling and feel it
- Talk about it with your partner
- Distract yourself, go and do something else.

Feel free to do sometimes the one and sometimes the other. Like this you feel more freedom of choice and you will feel more space inside.


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Tip 6 - Practice mindfulness

Practice mindfulness.
Look with a mild, gentle and friendly attention to your fears.

Accept that fear is there, without identifying with it. You are not the fear, you have the fear.

By approaching yourself and your fears in a gentle manner, you can relax deeper and then your fear can become soft too.


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Tip 7 - Find a counsellor

Are your experiencing commitment issues or fear of commitment and could you use some support?

A therapist or counsellor can help you.


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Tip 8 - Acknowledge you need the other

Tip for people with fear of commitment:

Take a moment to realize what you need from the other. Who is really important to you and why? What do these people give you? Acknowledge to yourself that you need the other and how beautiful it would be if you would let the other person know that!


Ineke

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