Glen | Psychotherapist, Counsellor

Online therapy

Counselling Online, Online Therapy For variety of reasons (e.g. location, no travel time or costs, virus, implications) some people prefer online therapy to the orthodoxy of in-person therapy in the consulting room. Counselling online (ZOOM psychotherapy, Teams therapy) in the familiarity of our own home, the office, outdoors, if in a private space, can be more convenient to us. Alongside Teams counselling, ZOOM counselling, other online counselling services may be available.

Benefits Of Online Counselling

• Choosing our own place for therapy can shift our thinking, any stuckness, facilitate psychological processing
• Offers us a different approach towards self-discovery
• Less intimidating for some of us compared to in-person therapy in the consulting room
• Can facilitate collaborative working
• Can give us the experience of more equality in the therapeutic relationship, feel less confrontational, be more supportive

• Can help us feel calm, engaged and supported

• Can release us from any pressure to make direct eye contact, enabling us to free associate and process our emotions more effectively
• We can feel more comfortable in our own chosen environment and this can stimulate, facilitate our intuition, being present in the moment
• Can enable silences to be more comfortable

• Can encourage deeper, reflective ways of thinking
• Can improve our strategic thinking, creative thought processes

• Can enable us to be more emotionally, expressive

• Can benefit us if we tend to become hyper aroused, claustrophobic
• Can enable us to be more expressive with our body language
• Can enhance creativity and freedom to express ourselves differently than in the constraints of the consulting room
• Can help us have an overall sense of well being

Qualifications and registrations

Dip Counselling

MA Psychotherapy

Dip Psychotherapy

BACP Accredited Counsellor

UKCP Accredited Psychotherapist

Being OK with another begins with being OK with ourself, so the relationship with ourself underpins our relationship with others. And our first relationship - early connections & bonding patterns alongside any non-responsiveness, empathic breaks and frustrations in our early life can greatly influence our adult relationships. Relationships are essential to our resilience, wellbeing and happiness and we may want to strengthen our relationship, communication.

Happy relationships don't happen by accident and only we can change what we do to make them happier. We can love someone yet being together can be challenging at times. We may have different contexts, needs, attitudes, expectations and models about a good relationship, marriage including whether it should last forever, be exclusive. Whatever our culture, sexuality, religion, matters of the human heart are universal, as is the complexity, pain, and joys of human relationships with others.

Relationships are not something we have, we continuously build them, evolve in the journey of them as a couple (this may include having less expectations and showing more appreciations). The relationship and marriage counselling can explore whether we feel relationship-ready, what the journey of a relationship, marriage means for us and what keeps us safe in it and also explores our primary relationship with our Self (for we can't be happy, fulfilled, in our relationship unless we are fulfilled and happy in ourself) alongside our relationship and communication style with our partner, others.

 

There can be a big difference between being lonely and being alone. We've all felt lonely, alone, at some point especially when grieving someone or something. We may have let our loneliness, aloneness take us over, losing our self in the process and we may forget to remind ourself that when we are lonely, alone we are still OK, that loneliness, aloneness are also states of mind. Resetting our sense of self, finding our strength for change, being centred, anchored, grounded in ourself can support us.

Aloneness can be viewed as being disconnected from our self (where turning to others may be counterproductive to overcome our aloneness), struggling to be with our separateness, whereas loneliness - the feeling we have when we want to connect with another and the other is not available - including heartbreak and this may also point to a need to connect with community.

Being separate & alone with our self (in tune with our body's connectedness to our emotions & thoughts) is permanent, whether with others or on our own. So although being alone & feeling lonely can be viewed as the same thing, through another lens we could view them differently, that aloneness is about lacking connection with our self - accompanying, tending to ourself in caring, loving ways, and loneliness is about being without company, a lack of meaningful connection with others, including love to & from others.

Reinforcing our loneliness, some of us may fiercely guard our independence, believing we've got to do our life alone - denying or repressing any natural dependency needs and our needs to connect with others - a primal need. When we are so lonely, we may have an unbearable feeling of isolation, separateness. At some level this is an entirely appropriate response, because we are separate. And as we become aware of our separateness, we may have a parallel need to be comfortable with our own aloneness (accompany our self - being connected to who we are) and to seek strong relationships with others, be in the company of others in order to respond to our loneliness.

This can become a balancing act throughout our life - an acceptance of our temporary solitude, alongside our search for intimacy and interaction with others. This dilemma of how much to be separate, do our own thing, and how much to be part of something, with others, being more comfortable with both (and what we tell our self when we are alone or feel lonely), can be explored in the loneliness counselling & loneliness therapy.

Being around people who we connect with, interest us - sharing our feelings, can take away our loneliness. However, being & connecting with people is always temporary. And besides, when we want to connect with another person, they may not be available to connect with - physically or emotionally absent. When with others or in our own company, we may want to accompany ourselves so we are less alone, connect to what matters to us, what we value.

 

Depression

Ups & downs, slumps, low points in human life are inevitable. How others, our culture, and us respond to depression impacts upon us. Depression can hold a huge taboo for some. There can be a stigma attached to needing or asking for depression help as if somehow we should suffer alone or seek solace in unhelpful habits or addictions. Depression may be sometimes so medicalised, that the person inside experiencing this gets overlooked. (Medication can help some people with depression yet can camouflage underlying factors.) We can all get depressed from time to time, and when we are, nothing can feel worse than someone (although well meaning) telling us to cheer up, putting pressure on us to always stay positive through toxic positivity, change our attitude, keep busy, start living, that we should be grateful. Sometimes before we can get in touch with the things that support our happiness, wellbeing, flexibility, we may need to let our depression pass. Fragile human beings that we are, we are all susceptible & vulnerable to depression, each person has a set of reactions impacting their spirits and we may be seeking depression support. It can seem as if layers, waves of depression come upon us and for others be more like a constant companion with little respite. It can be as if we are surrounded by a stifling, suffocating fog that sits around us - feeling blue or feeling nothing. Our depression can casts a long shadow over us, and can be like a big weight on our shoulders. We can feel utterly alone, blame ourselves, unable to receive comfort from others or comfort our self. Some may have tried to cure depression on the surface, yet underlying issues may remain. So I am interested in understanding, exploring with you exactly what it is you are experiencing, how it's like for you, alongside supporting you in finding, facilitating your own way through your depression - however long it takes, so it doesn't dominate your life so much where health is viewed as one - not separated out to mental health, physical health, emotional health, etc. Therapy for depression, depression treatment or counselling for depression takes into consideration your individual circumstances.

Confidence & Esteem

We may want to have more faith in ourself, the courage to make decisions, act, be more assertive & visible in the world, manage our anxiety. In the confidence counselling we will look how we can improve self-confidence, increasing & building self-esteem, developing a healthy inner life, so we are freer to live, more from the centre of our own being. This may include coming to terms with our fears, attending to all our feelings, validating the information they are giving us, exploring our willingness to take some risks in our life - trying things we maybe haven't tried before, transforming our self-beliefs and building a healthy relationship with ourself alongside our subpersonalities, alter ego. Rising to challenges, facing and overcoming life's obstacles boosts self-esteem. We may work with how to embrace change, stepping outside of what is familiar, rather than shy away from it. The counselling may also look at how we evaluate our experiences in each moment, and how we see ourself overall - the relationship we have with ourself. Despite our age it may be as if part of us hasn't quite grown up. The confidence counselling & self-esteem therapy may gently challenge any self-damaging ways we become defeated, extremely fatalistic, put ourself down (paying attention to the things we say to ourself), limiting our intrinsic self-worth or self-esteem, so we affirm ourself, are in our own authority, not beholden to others yet are in supportive relationships with others, sharing empathy. The confidence therapy & self-esteem counselling may include how we can reassure our self, respect and value ourselves, know we are enough, worthy, access more of our own resources, creativity & ways we can belong, appreciate, validate, support, assert, accept, value, trust and take care of ourself, feel substantial, so we don't diminish or sell ourself short, more able to freely live from our centre, anchored, in our own ground, be resilient (without interpreting constructive criticism as personal attacks), kind, loving, creative without being so overwhelmed. The self-esteem counselling may also explore how we manage our self, affirm to our self we are a person of value, bringing who we are (and that we are OK in our core, enough) to each moment, our own attributes, positive, good qualities, love of certain interests, what comes easy to us, our accomplishments, achievements, successes, strengths, what we are competent at, proud of, our core values, what gives us momentum, how we support ourself, what makes us feel good, nourishes us, so we flourish. The self-confidence counselling may also explore how we celebrate our achievements, victories, however small.


Stress, Fear & Anxiety

Stress counselling & anxiety therapy can help initially by exploring ways to bring our arousal levels down, choose courage over despair, self-acceptance over self-judgement, gain peace of mind and be more present in the moment. How we respond and manage our anxiety is unique to us. We may be seeking anxiety help, anxiety relief, stress help, stress relief in different ways (some of which may be connected to very early experiences and these may go way back for some, e.g. because we can't satisfy one of our parents). We can't rid ourselves of anxiety but can learn to anxious and relax at the same time. Coping with stress, coping with anxiety may be important for some (stress treatment, anxiety treatment - whatever these mean for you), especially when our anxiety is letting us know we are off track with our thinking. We may just want to deal with stress or deal with anxiety a little better (stress management, anxiety management). What lies behind our stress, fear or anxiety may also hide other conditions (e.g. dyslexia, dyspraxia, ADHD, autism). Some of our stress, anxiety may be unconscious or difficult to recognise, including our rage, anger, which can also be explored in stress counselling & anxiety therapy, so our nervous system is not on a constant state of alert. The therapy may also explore how we create anxiety, what our anxiety may also be saying, meaning for us what's ingrained and in our control and what isn't, how being anxious may stop us doing things, acting in the world, and how else we can respond, transform stress to excitement, calmness, find peace, yet aliveness, take care of ourselves, utilising our alter egos, subpersonalities. Some may also benefit from stepping back from the need to control and listening to the underlying message what our anxiety is telling us - that we are off base, that we need to be present in the moment and take loving action. Valuing the experience of meditation, switching from anxiety to gratitude, joy, excitement, others - sharing empathy, being in touch with their playfulness, laughter, sense of humour can also support us. Others may value literally shaking off the anxiety that resides in their body. 

Areas of counselling I can help with

• ✓ Addiction
• ✓ Adoption/Post-Adoption
• ✓ Anger management
• ✓ Anxiety
• ✓ Being assertive
• ✓ Bereavement, grief, loss
• ✓ Binge-eating disorder
• ✓ Burnout
• ✓ Childhood emotional neglect (CEN)
• ✓ Communication
• ✓ Self confidence
• ✓ Covid-19 Anxiety

• ✓ Depression
• ✓ Family problems
• ✓ Fear
• ✓ Feeling lonely
• ✓ Feeling sad
• ✓ Food addiction
• ✓ Infertility
• ✓ Insecurity
• ✓ Jealousy
• ✓ Living with cancer
• ✓ Low self esteem
• ✓ Miscarriage

• ✓ Panic attack
• ✓ Performance anxiety
• ✓ Redundancy
• ✓ Relationship issues
• ✓ Retirement
• ✓ Setting boundaries
• ✓ Sight loss
• ✓ Sleep problems
• ✓ Social phobia
• ✓ Stress
• ✓ Workplace stress
• ✓ Worrying too much

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